she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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