he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
