i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i need an iv and a liver transplant
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
