I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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