if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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