Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
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