..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
