Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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