I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize