I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
