The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
