Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
