Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize