mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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