I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I will be naked everywhere
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
