Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize