Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
