happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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