Define "chronic" masturbator.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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