Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize