the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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