I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
