I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
where does the pee come out of this thing
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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