this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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