She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
