Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize