There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Randomize
