i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
