He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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