she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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