Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
We got so high we made milksteak
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
