I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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