I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
