He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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