I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
