just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She bit a glass in half.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
