Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
