Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
