Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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