I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize