even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
NoShamevember. You game?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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