You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize