I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
