Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize