That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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