I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
sex in a hospital.. check
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
