so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
