I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
