I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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