help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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