Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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