the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
