apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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