she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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