Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
