I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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