and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
