there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
