Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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