I'm gonna have a badass scar
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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