beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize