trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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