So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
